motherless mother
Thursday, July 27th, 2006Something I posted to a parenting community online…
My mother, who was my best friend in many ways, died at age 49 in 1992 . I had finished one year of college before I withdrew to care for her, and that event (caring for her till her death) has shaped my life more than anything.
I always thought I shouldn’t have any children since I wouldn’t have her support, but over the years, I slowly started to change my mind. I have an amazing husband, and we finally decided to take the plunge into parenthood. Our first attempt was a missed miscarriage, and made me want my mommy more than anything. But, we were lucky and our second attempt was successful, and I have my beautiful 5 month old daughter. I am sure that becoming a mother now will be the second event that will shape my life more than anything. I don’t think I’ve ever been happier (even though as I’m typing, I’m a little teary!).
I still, 14 years later, wish I could talk to her everyday. Right now I’d like to ask her things about her 3 babies… did we teeth early? Was I breastfed? How did she manage to work when my brother and sister were little, and how did she manage to stay home when I was born? I wish I had that insight, but I have long ago gotten over feeling too sorry for myself– I have too many friends who have living mothers who don’t give them that kind of insight, or support, and I decided I am thankful that I had MY mother even if she died too young. Of course, I have sainted my mom… ask my older sister about her, and you’ll get a completely different story.
Well, that was a long intro! Take care, everyone!